George P. Kerns' Eulogy

Submitted by admin on January 29, 2010 - 3:41pm.

This was written and read by my Uncle Chris and Aunt Carole during my Uncle George's funeral. I wanted to share it with those who couldn't make it. Thanks to Chris & Carole for writing and sharing, and George for everything.

______________________

George’s Eulogy

January 16, 2010
 
[Chris--]
George Patrick Kerns was born on March 12, 1954 as the sixth of eight children (the third of 5 sons) to our parents, Jack and Mary Ellen Kerns.  He was named after “Uncle George Heiser” (who was not really our true uncle), but because Uncle George was elderly, none of our siblings could bring ourselves to call this little baby by an older man’s name.  Our sister, Connie, remembered that Dad and Mom referred to every baby that was about to be born as a “Chip off the old block”, and this time the name stuck.
 
Growing up, the five of us boys shared a single large room with bunk beds in the farmhouse out on Rt. 29.  Chip would always be up early, whistling, singing, and having fun.  The rest of us would typically be grouchy, half awake and wondering how to put a lid on this overly cheerful guy.  I started call him “Chipper”, and never stopped, cause he was in fact a “Chipper” kind of guy.
 
Chipper always focused on what he was doing, playing games, studying or having fun, and consequently would keep at it after others would stop.  That, coupled with his gentle and unobtrusive nature, meant that he could be overlooked from time to time.  On vacation, we were all back in the car and down the road before someone would say, “Where’s Chip?”  Our family would also often go to Bettie’s Restaurant in Coldwater on Saturday nights for hamburgers, French fries, and sweet/sour salad with bacon dressing.  I remember Dad counting up the hamburger orders, and saying “We’re one short - - where’s Chip??  When we drove back home, Chip was sitting on the steps, waiting for us.  He said, “I knew you’d be back for me.”
 
Chipper grew up American Graffiti style, loving ’58 Chevy Impalas, and planned to head to California after graduation, with Pete Heirholtzer and Keith Ley.  The three of them brought a used van from Dad - - it was orange, yellow and black, -- and they rigged it up to sleep and live in.  A real hippie Van.   This was in the days before GPS or Tom-Toms, so on their way to California -- they ended up in MAINE!!  Then, like any logical teenager, they spent the winter in Maine.  
Heading out on this great adventure, Pete told us of how “Chip” became “George”.  He told Pete and Keith that he was now an adult; he didn’t want to be known by the nickname he was called as a boy; he wanted to be known as “George”.  It was a little confusing, because some people thought we had yet another brother.  However, he will always be “Chipper” to me, just because of his great attitude.
 
The following year, George/Chipper finally made it to California, where he stayed for about 3 years.  Eventually Teressa, her sister, Gena, and our brother, Mike all followed him out there at different times.  
 
[Carole --]
 
I’d like to tell you about a Beautiful Love Story.  The story of George & Teressa.
 
George was walking down the hall of Celina High.  Teressa was in her class looking out the door.  Their eyes met – – AND SO IT BEGAN.
 
Teressa mentioned to her friend Sue how “adorable” she thought Chip was.  Sue saw George by his locker – took Teressa by the hand and walked her over, “Chip this is Teressa”.
 
For their first date George picked Teressa up in a Kerns Chevy with a Kerns Chevy sign taped on the side and balloons hanging off the car which they drove as part of the Coldwater Parade.  Already their life was a party!! They dated all that summer.  They broke up in the fall.  The REASON – George said they were getting too serious…
 
As you’ve heard, after High School George headed for Maine, then California.  He came home for a family wedding – found out Teressa was living in Ft. Wayne and showed up at her door one night (Teressa was home and her current boyfriend was there).  Teressa was instantly back in love with George.  The boyfriend was history.
 
Back in Celina for the Christmas holiday, George asked Teressa out.  On the way home he started singing the Beatles tune “I love you” (George always did like to sing).  They got to Teressa’s house, sat on either end of the sofa and talked in front of the Christmas tree until dawn.  Teressa visited George in California on her vacation.
 
Shortly after the visit,  George wrote Teresa’s Mom and Dad and asked for her hand in marriage.  He flew back to Celina, got Teressa and they drove back to California in his new, used Vega!! They were married in 1976, and have been married for 33 years this past September 11th.  
 
Their love never stopped growing.  Right before George became ill in October of 2006; Teressa lost the diamond out of her engagement ring.  But life was so crazy then, she never thought about the ring.  George wanted to replace the ring and so plotted with Gena, Teressa’s sister.  Gena was driving George weekly to Ft. Wayne for his cyber knife radiation treatments over the winter of 2006.   They would stop at various shops to find the perfect ring.  
 
As an aside, every time George and Teressa would go to a wedding of a friend, George would always ask Teressa to marry him again.  He and Teressa were to be best man and maid of honor in Gena and Phil’s wedding.  George’s plan was to slip the ring into Teressa’s hand during the service.  However, that April, George’s cancer was so serious that he was close to death.  It appeared that he might not live until the wedding, so Gena brought George the ring, and with all the strength he could muster, he asked Teressa once again to be his wife, telling her that the 3 diamonds symbolized their Past, their Present & their Future.
 
But with George’s indomitable spirit, he rallied the very next morning to be Best Man at the wedding!!!
 
Many of you may have seen George around town driving his electric wheelchair.  His first trip was to the florist to buy flowers for his Teressa.  
 
The last few weeks of George’s life he did not open his eyes.  Literally as he took his last breathe on Wednesday, George opened his eyes, looked right at Teressa and died – One last gift of his love to his ONE TRUE LOVE.
 
[Chris --]
 
After George & Teressa were married, they moved to Fort Wayne, Indiana, where George worked for North American Van Lines.  George’s natural gift of endless patience and his wonderful talent for listening to others was pushed to the limits by a constant stream of irate customers.  
 
Their 2 sons, Neil and Seth, were born in Ft Wayne.  After a decade and a half in Ft. Wayne, they moved back to Celina, where George became THE Goodwill Ambassador for Kerns Automotive Group.  George always made the effort, could always find the time to stop and spend time with all types of customers and business contacts.
 
The basement of George & Teressa’s house on Maple Street was the meeting place for a number of cousins:  Neil, Seth, Scott, Michael, David, Tim, Angie, Julia and Mahala.  They had a blast in that cave.  The kids were there so much that other people in the family were concerned for the welfare of George & Teressa.  One Saturday morning, our mother got up early, went to the bakery, got a big bag of donuts and left them on George & Teressa’s front door steps.  Our sister, Jaclyn, also got up early, went to a different bakery, got an equally big bag of donuts and left them at the back door.  George got up a little while later and went to the front door, found the bag of donuts, then went to the back door.  When he found the 2nd bag, he said, “Is this a Great Country, or what?”
 
George’s love for his boys was, on the scale of 1 – 10 a 10 plus.  Teressa remarked that time stood still when George listened to his sons play their instruments, the piano and guitar.  You saw the pride in his face, not just about their music, but about everything they did.  I would like to read two writings by Neil and Seth about their father: (Neil’s is recent; Seth’s writing was from High School)
 
From Neil:
Titled “George – Dad”
I have had many teachers in my life over only 29 years.  Many were profound and eye-opening.  But the Greatest Teacher and the one who stands out as a guide to really opening my eyes to the world is my Father.  In memory I always think of the simple and deep way he regarded his surroundings.  Particularly the way he taught me to love the Sea.  When I was very young, he would carry me into the waves and we would look out into the deep water together.  Then back into the sand and later the water again.  I was never afraid with him.  We were always looking in wonder.
 
From Seth:
Titled “Hero of Mine”
When smiles are exchanged between my father and me, his is always recognized by me as being sincere.  His beautiful eyes are full of knowledge of just about everything and they also contain many memories of great things.  He loves to learn new things and get to know people better.  My Father loves me.  He does not lie to me even if it's just to satisfy my curiosity.  He does things for people that are far beyond the material obsessions of the world.  My father whistles a lot.  He is never sad or worried.  He represents what I want to be and how I want to act.  My father is a hero and he loves me.
 
Even the friends of Neil and Seth also felt this love and acceptance and that George and Teressa would never “Judge” them.  Seth and Neil tell how their friends come to visit their parents even when Seth and Neil are not at home.
 
[Carole--]
 
The boys returned this love of their father’s by dramatically changing their lives when they learned of his cancer.  Both moved back to Celina to be with their Dad and Mom.  The tenderness, care and devotion shown by these 2 strong men are simply extraordinary.
 
Kristin, Seth’s wife, also played a very important role, as she voluntarily became George’s caregiver for 3 or 4 days a week.  Kristen gave George not only comfort, but the wonderful gift of time with his 2 grandsons, Ian and Logan.  Kristin brought her 2 boys along each day as she cared for George.
George had breakfast & lunch with Kristen and the grandsons, so he passed along his great love of eating.  On a number of occasions, when George would take a piece of food from Ian’s plate, Ian would look up at him and say,” Paw-Paw, Mine!!
 
Let’s talk about the George we all Know.
First, the George who loves to EAT.  
 
There is a sign in George and Teressa’s home that reads, 
“Live, Love, Laugh.”  George would add to that “Live, Love, Laugh and EAT”.
 
In the family, George was known as the garbage disposal.  The whole family used to go for a few days in the summer to a farm in Bellfountain.  Each morning we’d have pancakes.  25 of us.  And all the pancakes that were left went straight to George’s plate.  He would finish them all.  And he loved PIES;  his favorite-- Sugar Cream.  Another of George’s favorite foods – donuts, especially Crispy Cream.  He may have been the only person ever to have a photograph of a Krispy Creame outlet store.  During his illness George gained a great deal of weight.  And with his marvelous sense of humor,  his comment to this weight gain – “I’m finally fat – isn’t that GREAT!”
 
[Chris --]
 
That leads to George’s great sense of Humor.  Although George never liked his teeth, he still smiled all the time.  George loved everything that was funny, including for example, Mel Brook’s “Young Frankenstein”, and the Muppets.  One time he & Teressa were visiting Washington DC over Thanksgiving, and we found a puppet store that offered the whole range of Muppets.  We bought a bunch of hand puppets, and I drove thru Georgetown in DC while George, Teressa and Carole crouched down on the floor of the car, holding six Muppets at all of the open windows.  You can only imagine the looks of hundreds of pedestrians and drivers trying to figure out why and where I was taking a half dozen Muppets.
 
About a year or so ago, Chipper called me and left a voice mail message.  My voicemail has a prerecorded message that starts with: “Chris Kerns is not available. . .”   I played back Chipper’s message in which he said; “Well, George Kerns IS available; and if George Kerns and Chris Kerns were both available, then George Kerns & Chris Kerns could be talking right now.”
 
Around that time, our brother, Mike, got an electric wheelchair for George so that he could get around better.  Well, this cart could be coaxed up to about 8 – 9 mph, so Chipper decided that he could take it all over town.  He called it his Cadillac Convertible.  Teressa had to attach one of those tall flags to keep track of him.  He’s scoot thru the alleys so he wouldn’t be held up by curbs.  I thought he needed a horn, so we bought him one that made 8 different horn noises, 12 animal sounds and had a loudspeaker.  Chipper would drive it outside, get on the microphone and say, “Teressa, please report to the driveway!”  We had to persuade him to wait until after 9 am before starting the rooster calls in the alleys.  The animal sounds and the microphone did cause a small problem at the public library, so I won’t go into that.
 
George Kerns was one of the few people who ever had a Frisbee collection.  He  loved cattalillies, not because they were beautiful flowers, but because “cattalillies” was fun to say.
 
George loved anything that could make one laugh.
 
[Carole --]
 
The George we all know never knew a stranger.  
 
He always acted as the host considering everyone else’s’ needs first.  George’s great gift of listening with his whole being – heart and soul – made each individual feel so unique.
 
And he always took care of others.  George’s brother, Ted, recalls George taking off work and going with him every day for a month to his drug treatment center.   Gena recalls when she was starting a new job in California, George riding the bus with her, not just once, but 7 times so she wouldn’t be scared or get lost.
 
Then there are those Georgeisms – Phrases such as “YA, KNOW”    and  “Ooops --- Oh Well”.  And of course the constant “Fine and Dandy” - sometimes shortened to “F & D” – but he was always “Fine and Dandy”.
 
It is so hard to loose one so special!!
 
But George has taught us so much:
How to LIVE, How to LOVE and How to LAUGH
 
He taught us how to LIVE by how he lived his life and  his marvelous sense of humor, his optimistic attitude and his acceptance of difficulties.  And even in dying George taught us how to live and love; his final act -– to donate his brain so others might one day be cured!
 
He taught us how to LOVE.  For George LOVE was an Action Word.  His devotion to his wife and sons, His love for his siblings, his in laws, his nieces, nephews and cousins, and his Love of and Respect for all he met.  He taught us LOVE by Refraining from hate, from fear, from gossip and from judgment. 
 
[Chris --] 
 
He taught us how to LAUGH.  He saw humor in everything and shared it with us all.  Last summer, we were sitting out in the sunshine and George was in his wheelchair.  (The cancer was causing him significant problems)  I saw a rock with a face that was sitting on the deck; (it’s downstairs today if anyone wants to see it) its eyes are crossed and its tongue is sticking out, with a really funny face.  And so I asked about it.  “IT’S GOD”, said Chipper, “he has a great sense of humor.”  
 
Just like every problem that George faced in his life, George handled his illness with courage and grace.  He never once complained about pain and discomfort and the endless medical procedures.  He was always saying “thank you” to others who helped.  Even after his left side was paralyzed, after he was virtually blind, and he was in tremendous pain, he never once asked “Why Me?” 
 
A few months ago, when he was still able to talk, George said: “I’m the luckiest man alive; I have a wonderful family and a wonderful wife whom I love with my heart and soul” When he was talking, he didn’t realize that Teressa was standing behind him, so she was able to hear the unvarnished love and truth.
 
[Carole --]
 
And this EXTRAORDINARY FAMILY.  There are no words to describe the depth of Teressa’s Love and Devotion to George.  During his long illness, Teressa’s tenderness, attention and constant devotion to George and to all the myriad of medical details was UNBELIEVABLE.   I am in AWE of this Amazing Woman.
 
And Seth, Neil and Kristen.  You epitomize Love in Action.  No Father ever had 2 more wonderful sons and a fabulous daughter-in-law by his side.
 
And George’s siblings – Connie, Barb, Mike and Jacquie – especially Connie & Barbe -- who on a daily basis were there for their beloved brother.  And the 2 Jims – always there. And Ted and Tim -- sending their love constantly from afar.
 
And Teressa’s sisters, Gena and Judy, and her sister in law Peg, always there to lend a hand, and an ear and a heart.
 
I am honored to be a part of this amazing family.
 
But It is Still So Hard.  
I’d like to read a piece by an unknown author:
 
Dying is a gradual diminishing and final vanishing over the horizon of life.  When we watch a sailboat leaving port and moving toward the horizon, it becomes smaller and smaller until we can no longer see it.  But we must trust that someone is standing on a faraway shore seeing that same sailboat become larger and larger until it reaches its new harbor.  Death is a painful loss.  But when we think about the ONE standing at the other shore eagerly waiting to welcome our beloved into a new home, a smile can break through our tears.
 
We love you, George.

 

Pomp and Psychopomp

As usual, it's hard to get going on a Monday morning. Therefore I'll use the craft of writing as a way to get my brain in gear. The biggest thing with me lately has been been my Uncle Chip's (George P. Kerns's) passing, so that will be the blog topic du jour. 
 
As an aside, every time I use du jour, I think of Dumb and Dumber: "What's the Soup Du Jour?" "It's the soup of the day." "Ooo that sounds good, I'll have that!".
 
But it's not really an aside, it's the perfect roll in to talking about George and his life. He always managed to work in a pun or laugh about something - a good sense of humor was highly respected by him.
 
As for his funeral, it was truly a celebration of him. He was a pastor at his church and by virtue of living in a small town and being customer service for the family auto dealer, he knew many, many people. This led to his funeral being the largest his church had ever had. 
 
While it was sad at times, as George would have wanted it, there were many laughs. I can't say enough about the church's service: it was very informal, not the stand/kneel/sit/repeat after us of the Catholic style that I'm used to. 
 
No, there was just talking about how he lived, some music performed by other pastors on guitar and a couple of prayers. I recall Chip (aka George) telling me several times about how laid back his church was, but I never took him up on going in to check it out. I sort of regret it now, but plan on at least going once to see a service. 
 
I can't say enough about my Uncle Chris and Aunt Carol. Chris and Carol are this sort of super-duo that can do it all. For almost every family event they help organize things and usually write something up and read it aloud. And not some boring thing that everyone dreads, no they usually kill. This day was no different; they read a chronicling of Chip's life that was just amazing. 
 
They touched on many different things, but by the end of I could tell that the mood in the place had changed. There were many laughs and, as they pointed out, Chip would have wanted it that way. I never knew this, but it was Chris who originally called George "Chip", or rather "Chipper", because that was his usual attitude.
 
They recounted how the family, when Chip was a kid, would forget about Chip because he was so quiet and happily playing by himself. One time, on a family vacation, they got several miles down the road before realizing they left him.
 
I'll have to get a copy of what they wrote and post it online - for those that may be interested and for friends and family that couldn't make it to the service. 
 
Well I guess that's it. I don't have a good way to end this post, but thanks for obliging me by reading to the very end. I know it's very detailed family stuff but I'm not sure it's all that interesting for most people. But I guess that doesn't matter because this is a BLOG POST and it should really only matter to me, right?  :-p
 

(Tip: Ending your blog post with a smiley is a pro move and should not be attempted at home without supervision.) 

Tue January 19, 2010

A Thank You to Chip-George

So my Uncle Chip moved on today. I hate to say "passed on" or "died" or any euphemisms for death. He moved on. Shuffled off from this mortal coil.
 
As they say, he's in a better place. Moved on to the next journey. In no more pain. Close to those who went ahead of him. 
 
Before he moved on, I was alternately angry and sad at the situation. Sad for him and his wonderful family. Angry at the cancer. Angry at what I feel is the purposeful ineptness of the cancer industry. Angry at chemotherapy. 
 
Perhaps it's short-sighted of me to throw blame at the cancer industry, but I truly believe they shut out some treatments that can help cure cancer.
 
And while chemo does has a good success rate with certain types of cancer (like testicular cancer, childhood leukemia and breast cancer) it can also cause great suffering. Adding months or years onto a cancer patients life is great, but at what cost? 
 
But - my anger got me off-topic, and as Yoda or a Buddhist monk might say, anger doesn't get you anywhere.
 
So I fall back to sadness, but not for my uncle. For his wife, his kids and grandkids. For his brothers and sisters who loved him dearly. And of course the rest of his family and friends that will miss him.
 
Chip, or George, or Chip-George as some called him is doing fine. I don't know how I know this, I just do.
 
The big thing I take away from the great life he lived in his short time on this little planet is this:
 
I don't recall ever seeing him sad. He seemed to always be smiling, always had a positive outlook, no matter the situation. Even well after his cancer and therapy. He always had a pleasant greeting and you felt that he was genuinely happy to see you.
 
On reflection of this, I'm *not* that sad. We got to experience Chip and learn from him. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could all be a little more like him, happy and positive, despite the crap going on around us? Wouldn't it better if we all greeted strangers with a big hearty hello and a smile from ear to ear? 
 
Yes, his life was cut short, shorter than most would like. But because of the disease, we got to see positivity in the face of death. To look death in the eyes and still laugh and love and have fun is truly amazing, and we all got to learn this lesson through Chip.
 
I don't care if you believe in God, or many Gods or no God or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster --- no matter what, I think you can agree there's a lot to be gained from observing the way Chip lived his life.
 
So ... if I could say some final words to him, they'd be this: "Thanks for hanging out with us for a while down here on planet Earth. Keep everyone Chipper, wherever you are, and we'll see you in the next lifetime, my friend." 

 

Wed January 13, 2010

Some Gum-Flapping About the Tea Party Movement

 I would like to take a moment to talk about Tea Parties. Unfortunately, this is not about one of my favorite bands, The Tea Party. (Although I will diverge for a moment to say that I've recently discovered that The Tea Party's driving influence and lead singer, Jeff Martin, has had a solo career and has recently started a new band called The Armada.)

 
Alas this is about the TEA parties, or "Taxed Enough Already" groups that have caused ruckus' around the U.S. I first found out about them through what was at first a Ron Paul meetup group. 
 
The group had staying power and wanted to get together after Paul's campaign was over. After all, Paul himself didn't quit, he created something with lasting power called the Campaign for Liberty.
 
The 1st TEA Parties started on April 15th, 2009, after Obama took office. The whole point of them (at first) was to protest taxation and the fact that our elected reps are ignoring us. It was a cross-platform thing, calling both Republicans and Democrats to task for fucking us over in many ways.
 
The people at the rally I went to made stirring speeches about the wasteful spending in D.C., about how both Bush and Obama are selling us out, how the Federal Reserve is destroying our dollar. The callback to the original Tea Parties, I thought, was a pretty powerful symbol to rally behind.  
 
One guy actually dressed as William Wallace, complete with sword, shield and face paint and had the crowd worked up with his oration. One line I love (I'm paraphrasing here) was, "It is neither the corporate facism of the Republicans nor the liberal socialism of the Democrats - we must call to task our Representatives".
 
All great stuff, I thought: well meaning, and who in their right mind could disagree with such patriotism? Don't we all want to be free and be taxed less? 
 
Alas, the idea got somehow twisted. The fake (corporate) Republicans glommed onto the TEA Parties, with coverage on FOX News. They sent many liars and cheats who voted for Bush's bailout packages to speak at these TEA Parties. It was ludicrous to me that a guy like John Boehner (R-OH) could speak at an event about how we should cut back on spending when he himself voted FOR spending when Bush was in power.
 
Meanwhile you've got the liberals and most of popular opinion (many people I see online and in my circles at least) who decry the TEA Party movement as a bunch of backwards, ultra-conservative nutjobs who are just afraid of change.
 
While this *would* describe the religious right (a group that I disagree with entirely) I would say that yes, many in the TEA Party movement ARE afraid of change, when that change is taking more money from the people and giving more power to the central government.
 
Centralized government is wrong and exactly the thing we fought against to start this country. You can be a liberal, a conservative, or anything at all and believe in what the people that started the TEA Party movement stand for.
 
Getting us to believe in (and fight for) left or right is a big part of distracting us from what's really going on. Those in charge don't care about being tagged "Republican" or "Democrat" - they'll vote for pork either way.
 
So why the hell NOT get behind such freedom movements as the TEA Party? 
 
Well, other than the fact that some call them Teabaggers.

 

Fri January 8, 2010

Random AIM bot sillyness

I thought this was funny. Happened to me probly a year ago, but I dug it up recently.

 
I'll have to explain a bit first. There used to be a service that grabbed two random AOL accounts and started a conversation between them, each one seeing a random name (like SexlessCoho or MutantSalmon) as the other person. It starts the convo off with a random phrase, as it did here. (For more info, these were known as Troutbots and are probably still used - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TheGreatHatsby)
 
I was aware of these "bots", the other person was obviously not:
 
(We both see this 1st message)
 
Bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word.
SexlessCoho
 
no it's not
(me)
 
(From here on SexlessCoho is the random person's typing)
 
wwf who is this?
SexlessCoho
 
it's your conscience
(me)
 
who is this? you obviously know who i am. this is retarded i feel like i'm in 6th grade
SexlessCoho
 
no I don't know you
a message popped up in my im from you
(me)
 
no it didn't
SexlessCoho
 
k bye now
SexlessCoho
 
yes it did, now stop masturbating so much
(me)

 

Mon January 4, 2010

On a cold winter's night

 One very cold Friday night, Lynn and I decided to go to our favorite spot for beer and wings. Buffalo Wild Wings, our ultimate mecca, the place where the bartender knew our usual drinks and was pouring us a  Labatt Blue and a Bud Light without us having to say a word.

 
Something was different that night, however. As we neared town, we saw brake lights. Too many of them and not in the right spot. Lynn was driving her pickup truck and stated that it was icy as hell (or some analogy to that effect, as ice couldn't form too well in hell). She threw the truck into four-wheel-drive mode and gained some control. SOME control.
 
See, this was black ice we were on, the worst kind. You can't see it at night and you have almost no grip on the road, you can hardly walk on it. It's slicker than slick can be, and we came upon it with no warning. 
 
We quickly figured out what the lights in front of us were: cars that had spun off into the ditch.
 
Lynn pulled the truck over to the side of the road. We knew we had to get out and help, and Lynn was ready to. I didn't want to. My heart started racing and panic began to set in. I somehow knew this would test us both, and I didn't want to be tested just now. Hell, in my mind I was just about to get drunk and gorge myself. I steeled myself, looked at Lynn, and was then ready to do whatever needed to be done. (I seem to remember nodding to each other like, "Let's do this")
 
We got out and headed towards the several cars in the ditch. It looked like two or three cars and a couple people had gotten out. There was a foot or two of snow in the ditch that people were getting stuck in. People were slowing down because of the ice and then just sliding right off the road into the banks of snow. 
 
I came upon a group of kids trying to get a young woman out of the ditch. They didn't seem to know how, so I took charge. "Do you know how to rock it?", I asked, aware at the same time how silly that sounded. She said no, and I explained that she would put the car in reverse, we'd push. Then she'd slam it into forward and we'd let her rock forward. We would repeat until the car was free.
 
It worked pretty well, and we got her out, but there was something I was ignoring. More cars were coming down the road. "Shit", I thought, focusing on the wrong thing, get people out of the ditch later, we need to warn them about the ice first.
 
At this point my memory of what happened is all scattered, so I hope you'll forgive me. I've never been in a battle or war situation, but I can guess things would be similar. So much stuff is happening at once that you just react. That's what Lynn and I did. Here are some things that happened.
 
Lynn and I talked about getting flares or a hazard sign. Lynn was standing in the middle of the road waving people down, to at least let them know to slow down (I believe she had a flashlight). As they went off in the ditch near her, she would keep advancing down the road. 
 
I called 911, the lady said there was ice all across the county, no cops could be spared, they'd get to us when they could. I had to get mean and state how grave the situation was. I have no idea exactly what I said.
 
One car managed to stop in it's own lane. Another was coming, very slowly, but couldn't stop. It slid right into the ass of the one before it, hitting it with a bang. Kids got out of each car, one was wearing shorts and a T-shirt ("Goddamn kids not prepared, and I must be getting old to think like this").
 
Three kids were standing in between the two cars and another was coming in, out of control. Lynn and I knew what was going to happen...like pool balls, one into the other, into the other. The kids stood there dumbfounded. I had a vision of them pinned between cars or chopped in half.
 
"Move!", Lynn yelled. But they stood there. "Move now!", I yelled louder. No movement. The car came closer. I commanded at the top of my lungs, "GET OUT FROM IN BETWEEN THE CARS, NOW!!!", and finally they ran off to the side of the road.
 
Sure enough, like a demolition derby, the car rammed into the 2nd one propelling it forward into the 3rd. Those kids would've been in a world of hurt.
 
Everything seemed to happen in slow-motion and there were so many bangs and crunches that it was commonplace, it felt almost like a video game.
 
There were several cars on either side of the road. There were now enough lights to get everyone slowed down enough by the time they reached the ice. 
 
I believe it was about then that a cop showed up. He pulled over to the side of the road to park and immediately got himself stuck. "Idiot.", I thought to myself. But then I remembered that I grew up in Buffalo and knew how to deal with snow - this is Lima, OH and they don't get it as bad as we do.
 
Even though the cop was there, I knew he wasn't in charge yet - WE were. The cop started talking to the kids about the accidents, getting names, license numbers, etc. rather than worrying about the people still going off the road. Again, "Idiot", I thought.
 
But shortly after, things seemed well enough where no one would get injured and we decided our services weren't needed any more. We drove away to get our beer and marveled to ourselves..."What the FUCK just happened?"
 
I grew up a lot that night. I knew I could take charge and had to take charge at times. I also realized how strong a woman Lynn is - she didn't back down from anything.
 
I'll tell you one other thing: that Labatt Blue tasted REALLY good that night.

 

Thu November 5, 2009

Poker and Zen

 A friend and I used to correlate poker strategy with life. There are ways to play poker like "tight/aggressive" and "loose/passive". 

 
Many times I've thought to myself, "Man, maybe I should be more tight/aggressive in life. If I take control and really get in there and fight and move stuff around, maybe things will go better". In some cases this worked, but it also lead to more stress, frustration and anxiety. 
 
I think this is because you CAN'T control everything in life - you have to let go of some things. 
 
On the other hand if you play the "loose/passive" strategy, you will find that sometimes nothing gets done, or things you could have had that you wanted just passed right by. You're like, "it's all good man", with a stoner mentality of just riding the wave. That sounds very Zen but you also may not progress or grow.  There is definitely less stress with this life strategy, but also less gain.
 
So life *is* like a poker game: to maximize your winnings you must switch up strategies. Different opponents and situations require different strategies. Sometimes be aggressive. Sometimes step back and let things fall where they may. 
 
And above all else, you cannot change the cards. Just play the cards you're dealt.
 

 

Wed October 21, 2009

Terrell Owens and his media circus come to Buffalo ... and tear it apart?

T.O. In the B-lo. Really? 

That's all I have to say: really!?
 
Ok, maybe that's not *quite* all I have to say, or this post could have just been a tweet.
 
I actually have quite a lot to say on the T.O. "issue" if we can call it that. I say it like that because it's a non-issue, or at least it should be.
 
The Western New York media has been fawning all over T.O. since his arrival. Every little thing has been reported Entertainment Weekly style: "T.O. found a place to live now", "It's a place overlooking the lake", "It has 5 bathrooms and 2 jacuzzis", "Oh no, the deal fell through". I wouldn't be surprised to read a story about how T.O. farted and it smelled like broccoli with a vague hint of paprika. 
 
The great WGR 550 itself even has a section on their site devoted to "T.O.'s Tweets", and devotes a good deal of on-air time to the guy.
 
Granted, it's good entertainment. Granted, the T.O. drama train helps sell tickets (and apparently, according to the Buffalo News, that's going really well). And granted that it elevates Buffalo's stature nationally somewhat having a prime NFL star come here.
 
But this media circus is going to kill the Buffalo Bills as a team.
 
Hear me now and believe me later (but listen to me sometime soon), all the "me me me hey look at me hey I am the best" logorrhea coming from T.O.'s mouth has to have an effect on the other players.
 
Weren't we sold the whole "team-based" concept when Marv Levy came back? Levy installed Jauron, a firm yet underspoken coach that would build a team that had quiet confidence. The main precept of the philosophy being that the whole was greater that its parts. 
 
For several years now the Bills have been building that machine; a team comprised of players that have attitude, strength of character, a commitment to the team and last but not least, very little ego.
 
Now along comes a huge cog thrown into that machine in the form of a brash, me-first wide receiver. How long will it take before the some other players start losing their discipline and start taking plays off like T.O.? "Why should I put out 100% when the other guy isn't?", is what many players start thinking and that line of thinking has a snowball effect.
 
T.O. has been not only a disruption everywhere else he's been, but a downright menace. Yes, Philadelphia went to the Super Bowl with him, but it could be argued they were a better team without him. Let's look at Dallas this year and see if they do better without him.
 
The Bills are going to be dragged into the muck this year,  thanks to T.O. and the media circus that follows him like flies swarming around a pig.
 
Ah, but I always like to end my ranting on a happy note, so here it is: at least with T.O. in the fold, the upcoming Bills season will be entertaining.  (And perhaps that explains why the Bills got him in the first place.)  So hold onto your hats and, dare I say it ... get your popcorn ready ... but moreso for off-the-field antics.

 

Wed June 24, 2009

Random Update about Myth Books, Guitar Playing and Church Camp

Rather than pump-priming with this post, I'm "work-priming". I can't focus and have no chutzpah to be able to do anything. To me, those are the worst times: when you just sit there, wanting to be able to do stuff, but physically and mentally you're just shot, stuck in 1st gear and can't get out of it. 

I attempted to break out of the rut by posting tweets but found I couldn't pack what I wanted to say into 140 characters, so here we are in this blog post.

Last night was gorgeous out. The church camp next door has started filling up with visitors and the ambience emanating from it feels great. It's just nice to have people nearby, especially lots of kids running around playing. If not for the church camp people, the only other sounds are from the many frogs in our pond, or occasionally from our neighbor's rooster. I guess the air is also punctuated at times with kids shooting guns across the street as well, but I digest. 

So I sat outside with the dogs last night and played guitar for the first time in weeks. It's nice to feel like I finally am pretty good at it, but the acoustic I have is a little tough to play. Maybe all acoustics are like that, I don't know.

Earlier in the day I had gotten my car back, $500 in repairs later. It sounds and runs pretty good and will be the backup vehicle to head to Buffalo, in case Mom can't go and we don't take her car. Lynn will be scared to drive in it, but it'll be fine.

When I got home from work (around 6:00) it was over 90 degrees out - too hot for the dogs AND for me. I used to like the heat, but maybe I haven't gotten used to it yet this year. So I napped as I waited for it to cool down when I could run the dogs.

Woke up and Lynn was playing with her brand new iPod touch (she seems to really like it, natch).  About 8:30, it was cool enough to run. Despite it being my first jog (or "yog") in a while we went fast and far, which is a testament to cross-training with biking really helping out.

I then made some Kahlua Mudslide and sat down to play WoW for the first time in months. I made a new account, referred from Lynn's, so we could get the 3x XP bonus. I rolled a Troll Shaman to go with her Troll Mage. It's fun and ok so far and I've played an hour each of the past 2 nights.  The bonus XP rocks and we made it almost to level 10 in those 2 hours. Being able to summon each other is a nice bonus as well.  Not sure if I will continue playing or not - if it stays around an hour a day that'd be ok, but I can't allow it to get more than that.  Stupid Warcrack.

I realize this post is all out of whack timeline-wise, but we are jumping back to when I earlier said I played guitar. Then I settled in for some late-night reading. Myth Inc. Link was the book dujour and it just ROCKS.  Why should you read it? Because one chapter comes from the point of view of a pet dragon with a one-word vocabulary, and you learn that the dragon isn't the pet but instead a supremely wise being using these humans as an experiment.

That is it, your quickly-written, barely-edited blog post. It's been a while, but I suspect I'll be posting more often for a bit what with the Buffalo trip coming up tomorrow. Peace, my homies! 

 

Wed June 24, 2009

Buffalo Trip (Saturday) - REDO!

 Well crap --- I found an old blog post from weeks ago that I had since rewritten. I figured I might as well slap it up here for those couple of people that actually read this site!

 
-----------------
 
So, Saturday was great. Finally got a chance to stop out to sister Mary Kay's and see her and the whole family. We talked outside for a while until Catharine, Mary Kay's oldest (12) got back from her lacrosse match. They lost by one point to Orchard Park.
 
We went to Vito's for coffee and lunch - had a wonderful chicken finger sub (every bit as good as Bella's) and admired the renovations of the store. 
 
Then we came back to play a bit and the kids bounce all over the place, demanding my attention. It was chaotic ("Uncle John, look at this... Uncle John, can I do this?") but I loved and savored every second of it. I got LOTS of great pics of the kids (and Mary Kay and Billy of course). The younger two (Lauren and Mikey) were enthralled with my iPod touch - I was glad I had put lots of games on there. We also rocked out to Rockband and the kids were really good (apparently they've beaten the game). I was able to pick up the guitar real quick (it's the same as Guitar Hero, after all) and also tried doing the vocals which was weird (Mikey was cracking up as I actually tried to *sing* and was awkwardly doing some high notes.) He said something that I loved: "You're like an uncle but a cousin too" and had earlier said I was the best uncle... it just killed me. 
 
Then it was pizza from Vito's, white pizza and a cheese pep. Mmm...I've been spoiled by all this great Buffalo food. Then bowling in the village of Hamburg. Pretty neat to see all the updates to the main streets in Hamburg, with the traffic circles and whatnot. 
 
Then around 11:00, even though I knew I was getting tired, I knew I had to make it out to Scott's sister's house for a get-together. Scott, Heather and another great old friend, Steve would all be there, not to mention Lisa, who is awesome. I had already had a few drinks so I just milked one the whole night. I got a text from Mary Kay asking if I had gotten there yet, she was worried, and it felt good to know she cared about me. (I didn't notice the text until like 2:00 so hopefully she didn't worry *too* much.) 
 
I had some great conversations with both Heather and Scott, together and individually. Heather loved on me and said how much she missed her "Jonahanalicious" and I couldn't believe it. I always thought she was great but didn't realize how much of a friend she thought me. She, Scott and I talked about Life, the Universe and Everything and how we're going to fulfill our dreams.  I left around 3:00AM tired but so glad I could spend that time with them. 

 

Wed June 3, 2009
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