This was written and read by my Uncle Chris and Aunt Carole during my Uncle George's funeral. I wanted to share it with those who couldn't make it. Thanks to Chris & Carole for writing and sharing, and George for everything.
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George’s Eulogy
January 16, 2010
[Chris--]
George Patrick Kerns was born on March 12, 1954 as the sixth of eight children (the third of 5 sons) to our parents, Jack and Mary Ellen Kerns. He was named after “Uncle George Heiser” (who was not really our true uncle), but because Uncle George was elderly, none of our siblings could bring ourselves to call this little baby by an older man’s name. Our sister, Connie, remembered that Dad and Mom referred to every baby that was about to be born as a “Chip off the old block”, and this time the name stuck.
Growing up, the five of us boys shared a single large room with bunk beds in the farmhouse out on Rt. 29. Chip would always be up early, whistling, singing, and having fun. The rest of us would typically be grouchy, half awake and wondering how to put a lid on this overly cheerful guy. I started call him “Chipper”, and never stopped, cause he was in fact a “Chipper” kind of guy.
Chipper always focused on what he was doing, playing games, studying or having fun, and consequently would keep at it after others would stop. That, coupled with his gentle and unobtrusive nature, meant that he could be overlooked from time to time. On vacation, we were all back in the car and down the road before someone would say, “Where’s Chip?” Our family would also often go to Bettie’s Restaurant in Coldwater on Saturday nights for hamburgers, French fries, and sweet/sour salad with bacon dressing. I remember Dad counting up the hamburger orders, and saying “We’re one short - - where’s Chip?? When we drove back home, Chip was sitting on the steps, waiting for us. He said, “I knew you’d be back for me.”
Chipper grew up American Graffiti style, loving ’58 Chevy Impalas, and planned to head to California after graduation, with Pete Heirholtzer and Keith Ley. The three of them brought a used van from Dad - - it was orange, yellow and black, -- and they rigged it up to sleep and live in. A real hippie Van. This was in the days before GPS or Tom-Toms, so on their way to California -- they ended up in MAINE!! Then, like any logical teenager, they spent the winter in Maine.
Heading out on this great adventure, Pete told us of how “Chip” became “George”. He told Pete and Keith that he was now an adult; he didn’t want to be known by the nickname he was called as a boy; he wanted to be known as “George”. It was a little confusing, because some people thought we had yet another brother. However, he will always be “Chipper” to me, just because of his great attitude.
The following year, George/Chipper finally made it to California, where he stayed for about 3 years. Eventually Teressa, her sister, Gena, and our brother, Mike all followed him out there at different times.
[Carole --]
I’d like to tell you about a Beautiful Love Story. The story of George & Teressa.
George was walking down the hall of Celina High. Teressa was in her class looking out the door. Their eyes met – – AND SO IT BEGAN.
Teressa mentioned to her friend Sue how “adorable” she thought Chip was. Sue saw George by his locker – took Teressa by the hand and walked her over, “Chip this is Teressa”.
For their first date George picked Teressa up in a Kerns Chevy with a Kerns Chevy sign taped on the side and balloons hanging off the car which they drove as part of the Coldwater Parade. Already their life was a party!! They dated all that summer. They broke up in the fall. The REASON – George said they were getting too serious…
As you’ve heard, after High School George headed for Maine, then California. He came home for a family wedding – found out Teressa was living in Ft. Wayne and showed up at her door one night (Teressa was home and her current boyfriend was there). Teressa was instantly back in love with George. The boyfriend was history.
Back in Celina for the Christmas holiday, George asked Teressa out. On the way home he started singing the Beatles tune “I love you” (George always did like to sing). They got to Teressa’s house, sat on either end of the sofa and talked in front of the Christmas tree until dawn. Teressa visited George in California on her vacation.
Shortly after the visit, George wrote Teresa’s Mom and Dad and asked for her hand in marriage. He flew back to Celina, got Teressa and they drove back to California in his new, used Vega!! They were married in 1976, and have been married for 33 years this past September 11th.
Their love never stopped growing. Right before George became ill in October of 2006; Teressa lost the diamond out of her engagement ring. But life was so crazy then, she never thought about the ring. George wanted to replace the ring and so plotted with Gena, Teressa’s sister. Gena was driving George weekly to Ft. Wayne for his cyber knife radiation treatments over the winter of 2006. They would stop at various shops to find the perfect ring.
As an aside, every time George and Teressa would go to a wedding of a friend, George would always ask Teressa to marry him again. He and Teressa were to be best man and maid of honor in Gena and Phil’s wedding. George’s plan was to slip the ring into Teressa’s hand during the service. However, that April, George’s cancer was so serious that he was close to death. It appeared that he might not live until the wedding, so Gena brought George the ring, and with all the strength he could muster, he asked Teressa once again to be his wife, telling her that the 3 diamonds symbolized their Past, their Present & their Future.
But with George’s indomitable spirit, he rallied the very next morning to be Best Man at the wedding!!!
Many of you may have seen George around town driving his electric wheelchair. His first trip was to the florist to buy flowers for his Teressa.
The last few weeks of George’s life he did not open his eyes. Literally as he took his last breathe on Wednesday, George opened his eyes, looked right at Teressa and died – One last gift of his love to his ONE TRUE LOVE.
[Chris --]
After George & Teressa were married, they moved to Fort Wayne, Indiana, where George worked for North American Van Lines. George’s natural gift of endless patience and his wonderful talent for listening to others was pushed to the limits by a constant stream of irate customers.
Their 2 sons, Neil and Seth, were born in Ft Wayne. After a decade and a half in Ft. Wayne, they moved back to Celina, where George became THE Goodwill Ambassador for Kerns Automotive Group. George always made the effort, could always find the time to stop and spend time with all types of customers and business contacts.
The basement of George & Teressa’s house on Maple Street was the meeting place for a number of cousins: Neil, Seth, Scott, Michael, David, Tim, Angie, Julia and Mahala. They had a blast in that cave. The kids were there so much that other people in the family were concerned for the welfare of George & Teressa. One Saturday morning, our mother got up early, went to the bakery, got a big bag of donuts and left them on George & Teressa’s front door steps. Our sister, Jaclyn, also got up early, went to a different bakery, got an equally big bag of donuts and left them at the back door. George got up a little while later and went to the front door, found the bag of donuts, then went to the back door. When he found the 2nd bag, he said, “Is this a Great Country, or what?”
George’s love for his boys was, on the scale of 1 – 10 a 10 plus. Teressa remarked that time stood still when George listened to his sons play their instruments, the piano and guitar. You saw the pride in his face, not just about their music, but about everything they did. I would like to read two writings by Neil and Seth about their father: (Neil’s is recent; Seth’s writing was from High School)
From Neil:
Titled “George – Dad”
I have had many teachers in my life over only 29 years. Many were profound and eye-opening. But the Greatest Teacher and the one who stands out as a guide to really opening my eyes to the world is my Father. In memory I always think of the simple and deep way he regarded his surroundings. Particularly the way he taught me to love the Sea. When I was very young, he would carry me into the waves and we would look out into the deep water together. Then back into the sand and later the water again. I was never afraid with him. We were always looking in wonder.
From Seth:
Titled “Hero of Mine”
When smiles are exchanged between my father and me, his is always recognized by me as being sincere. His beautiful eyes are full of knowledge of just about everything and they also contain many memories of great things. He loves to learn new things and get to know people better. My Father loves me. He does not lie to me even if it's just to satisfy my curiosity. He does things for people that are far beyond the material obsessions of the world. My father whistles a lot. He is never sad or worried. He represents what I want to be and how I want to act. My father is a hero and he loves me.
Even the friends of Neil and Seth also felt this love and acceptance and that George and Teressa would never “Judge” them. Seth and Neil tell how their friends come to visit their parents even when Seth and Neil are not at home.
[Carole--]
The boys returned this love of their father’s by dramatically changing their lives when they learned of his cancer. Both moved back to Celina to be with their Dad and Mom. The tenderness, care and devotion shown by these 2 strong men are simply extraordinary.
Kristin, Seth’s wife, also played a very important role, as she voluntarily became George’s caregiver for 3 or 4 days a week. Kristen gave George not only comfort, but the wonderful gift of time with his 2 grandsons, Ian and Logan. Kristin brought her 2 boys along each day as she cared for George.
George had breakfast & lunch with Kristen and the grandsons, so he passed along his great love of eating. On a number of occasions, when George would take a piece of food from Ian’s plate, Ian would look up at him and say,” Paw-Paw, Mine!!
Let’s talk about the George we all Know.
First, the George who loves to EAT.
There is a sign in George and Teressa’s home that reads,
“Live, Love, Laugh.” George would add to that “Live, Love, Laugh and EAT”.
In the family, George was known as the garbage disposal. The whole family used to go for a few days in the summer to a farm in Bellfountain. Each morning we’d have pancakes. 25 of us. And all the pancakes that were left went straight to George’s plate. He would finish them all. And he loved PIES; his favorite-- Sugar Cream. Another of George’s favorite foods – donuts, especially Crispy Cream. He may have been the only person ever to have a photograph of a Krispy Creame outlet store. During his illness George gained a great deal of weight. And with his marvelous sense of humor, his comment to this weight gain – “I’m finally fat – isn’t that GREAT!”
[Chris --]
That leads to George’s great sense of Humor. Although George never liked his teeth, he still smiled all the time. George loved everything that was funny, including for example, Mel Brook’s “Young Frankenstein”, and the Muppets. One time he & Teressa were visiting Washington DC over Thanksgiving, and we found a puppet store that offered the whole range of Muppets. We bought a bunch of hand puppets, and I drove thru Georgetown in DC while George, Teressa and Carole crouched down on the floor of the car, holding six Muppets at all of the open windows. You can only imagine the looks of hundreds of pedestrians and drivers trying to figure out why and where I was taking a half dozen Muppets.
About a year or so ago, Chipper called me and left a voice mail message. My voicemail has a prerecorded message that starts with: “Chris Kerns is not available. . .” I played back Chipper’s message in which he said; “Well, George Kerns IS available; and if George Kerns and Chris Kerns were both available, then George Kerns & Chris Kerns could be talking right now.”
Around that time, our brother, Mike, got an electric wheelchair for George so that he could get around better. Well, this cart could be coaxed up to about 8 – 9 mph, so Chipper decided that he could take it all over town. He called it his Cadillac Convertible. Teressa had to attach one of those tall flags to keep track of him. He’s scoot thru the alleys so he wouldn’t be held up by curbs. I thought he needed a horn, so we bought him one that made 8 different horn noises, 12 animal sounds and had a loudspeaker. Chipper would drive it outside, get on the microphone and say, “Teressa, please report to the driveway!” We had to persuade him to wait until after 9 am before starting the rooster calls in the alleys. The animal sounds and the microphone did cause a small problem at the public library, so I won’t go into that.
George Kerns was one of the few people who ever had a Frisbee collection. He loved cattalillies, not because they were beautiful flowers, but because “cattalillies” was fun to say.
George loved anything that could make one laugh.
[Carole --]
The George we all know never knew a stranger.
He always acted as the host considering everyone else’s’ needs first. George’s great gift of listening with his whole being – heart and soul – made each individual feel so unique.
And he always took care of others. George’s brother, Ted, recalls George taking off work and going with him every day for a month to his drug treatment center. Gena recalls when she was starting a new job in California, George riding the bus with her, not just once, but 7 times so she wouldn’t be scared or get lost.
Then there are those Georgeisms – Phrases such as “YA, KNOW” and “Ooops --- Oh Well”. And of course the constant “Fine and Dandy” - sometimes shortened to “F & D” – but he was always “Fine and Dandy”.
It is so hard to loose one so special!!
But George has taught us so much:
How to LIVE, How to LOVE and How to LAUGH
He taught us how to LIVE by how he lived his life and his marvelous sense of humor, his optimistic attitude and his acceptance of difficulties. And even in dying George taught us how to live and love; his final act -– to donate his brain so others might one day be cured!
He taught us how to LOVE. For George LOVE was an Action Word. His devotion to his wife and sons, His love for his siblings, his in laws, his nieces, nephews and cousins, and his Love of and Respect for all he met. He taught us LOVE by Refraining from hate, from fear, from gossip and from judgment.
[Chris --]
He taught us how to LAUGH. He saw humor in everything and shared it with us all. Last summer, we were sitting out in the sunshine and George was in his wheelchair. (The cancer was causing him significant problems) I saw a rock with a face that was sitting on the deck; (it’s downstairs today if anyone wants to see it) its eyes are crossed and its tongue is sticking out, with a really funny face. And so I asked about it. “IT’S GOD”, said Chipper, “he has a great sense of humor.”
Just like every problem that George faced in his life, George handled his illness with courage and grace. He never once complained about pain and discomfort and the endless medical procedures. He was always saying “thank you” to others who helped. Even after his left side was paralyzed, after he was virtually blind, and he was in tremendous pain, he never once asked “Why Me?”
A few months ago, when he was still able to talk, George said: “I’m the luckiest man alive; I have a wonderful family and a wonderful wife whom I love with my heart and soul” When he was talking, he didn’t realize that Teressa was standing behind him, so she was able to hear the unvarnished love and truth.
[Carole --]
And this EXTRAORDINARY FAMILY. There are no words to describe the depth of Teressa’s Love and Devotion to George. During his long illness, Teressa’s tenderness, attention and constant devotion to George and to all the myriad of medical details was UNBELIEVABLE. I am in AWE of this Amazing Woman.
And Seth, Neil and Kristen. You epitomize Love in Action. No Father ever had 2 more wonderful sons and a fabulous daughter-in-law by his side.
And George’s siblings – Connie, Barb, Mike and Jacquie – especially Connie & Barbe -- who on a daily basis were there for their beloved brother. And the 2 Jims – always there. And Ted and Tim -- sending their love constantly from afar.
And Teressa’s sisters, Gena and Judy, and her sister in law Peg, always there to lend a hand, and an ear and a heart.
I am honored to be a part of this amazing family.
But It is Still So Hard.
I’d like to read a piece by an unknown author:
Dying is a gradual diminishing and final vanishing over the horizon of life. When we watch a sailboat leaving port and moving toward the horizon, it becomes smaller and smaller until we can no longer see it. But we must trust that someone is standing on a faraway shore seeing that same sailboat become larger and larger until it reaches its new harbor. Death is a painful loss. But when we think about the ONE standing at the other shore eagerly waiting to welcome our beloved into a new home, a smile can break through our tears.
We love you, George.
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